Just over a year ago, I embarked on the au pair adventure in the United States, an experience that would transform my life. Between moments of joy, discoveries, challenges, and learning, this first year has been rich in lessons. Today, with some perspective and after changing families, I take the time to reflect on this unique experience, sharing the positive aspects, the challenges faced, and the lessons learned..
The positive points
Despite some challenges, my experience with my first host family was marked by many positive moments. The children were lovely, independent, and knew how to play by themselves, which made my daily life enjoyable. The parents showed great flexibility, allowing me to adjust my schedule to fully enjoy my leisure time, whether it was to attend concerts or take flights..
Another highlight was the food: my host cooked every evening, offering a wide variety of delicious dishes, and we dined together as a family, which created a friendly atmosphere. I also had the chance to travel with them, notably to Kentucky and Los Angeles, and to invite friends over without any constraints, a testament to their trust in me..
The children were easy to manage: they listened well, were well-behaved in public, and were not picky with food. My schedule was pleasant, with starts at 8:30 AM, and I had a recent car for my travels. Additionally, the house had a large garden and a pool, and its location, close to shops and a large shopping center, was ideal.
My first few weeks were particularly memorable: they took me to celebrate Halloween every week, and throughout the year, they never forgot the little gestures for Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day, and my birthday. Finally, the seasons in this region were very similar to those in France, which made my adjustment easier..
The negative points
However, not everything was perfect. I discovered, after several months, that there were cameras in the house, and my hosts had not informed me, which made me uncomfortable. Over time, they stopped involving me in their weekend outings, and I often found myself improvising my meals without knowing if they would come home for dinner or not.
Another frustrating point was the upkeep of the house: they didn’t have a cleaning lady and didn’t do the deep cleaning themselves. At first, I cleaned the common areas, but I eventually stopped to only take care of my room, as it wasn’t my responsibility.
Their way of introducing me was also hurtful: they described me as a "nanny" or a "baby-sitter," and the children repeated these terms in front of others, which created confusion about my role, especially given the difference in pay. (Nannies and baby-sitters earn $20 an hour, while I earn $8 an hour). A comment from my host, saying that I was a "co-worker" when one of the children asked her if I was their friend, particularly affected me, as it conveyed a distant image of my place within their family.
With the parents, the children could be extremely temperamental and difficult to manage. At the slightest upset, they would go into spectacular tantrums: crying, screaming, and sometimes even extreme behaviors like rolling on the floor. One day, the eldest exploded in anger, throwing bread on the floor before stepping on it. The parents' reaction was very permissive: they simply sent him to his room and stayed with him until he calmed down, never raising their voices. The youngest, for her part, was still taking bottles at 4 years old and could drink two in 20 minutes if her parents were present. When they refused her a bottle, she would cry until they eventually gave in, or her father would take her elsewhere to distract her and calm her tears. The parents seemed very attached to avoiding any conflict or frustration, refusing to let their children cry alone to learn to calm themselves..
Finally, once I left, the contact faded: if I don't take the initiative, I don't hear from them. This saddens me, as I would have liked to continue following the children's development, which remains a highlight of this experience..
This first year as an au pair has allowed me to grow and better understand my expectations in this role. I have learned to set my boundaries, to assert myself, and not to hesitate to seek an environment that meets my needs. This experience has also helped me become more patient and significantly improve my level of English, which I never thought possible given my initial level. I have matured and learned a lot about myself, discovering strengths I didn't know I had..
Despite the challenges, this adventure has given me precious memories, allowed me to discover beautiful places, and enriched me personally. Today, in hindsight, I realize how much this experience has transformed me and prepared me for the next steps in my journey in the United States..
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