Au Pair Testimonials in the United States: Their Experience and Personal Growth
I asked all my au pair friends to share a testimony about their experience in the United States as an au pair, where each person talks about the highs and lows, what this experience brought them, and how it transformed them. Here is a summary of their testimonies:
"Becoming an au pair was the best decision of my life! I traveled a lot, met many friends with whom I will stay in touch even when I'm back in France, even though for now, they are all French. If you want to make American friends, it's also possible; you just have to approach them and start a conversation.
I haven't really improved my English because in my host family, the father speaks French, and I'm taking care of a baby who, of course, doesn't speak yet. Also, all my friends here are French, which is both an advantage and a disadvantage. The downside is that I haven't practiced much English, but the positive side is that I've grown a lot through traveling and meeting new people.
I had quite a few low moments because I left at a time when my life in France was very stable. I had a great group of friends, I was going out often, and I was in a really good phase. The timing wasn't ideal, but I don't regret leaving at all. I'm also very close to my family, so I miss my parents a lot. Luckily, I can call my mom several times a day. Despite everything, it's an incredible experience, and the support from the agencies is really reassuring: they take good care of us, and the many meetings they organize are perfect for meeting new people.
I take care of a 4-month-old baby, and at first, I felt an enormous pressure because I was afraid of making a mistake that could be serious. The first four months were quite stressful for me, but after that, it was nothing but happiness! I was lucky to witness her first milestones: her first steps, her first words, especially when she said 'daddy.' She actually speaks more French than English! Honestly, I don’t regret having a baby to take care of. I prefer this experience rather than having older kids who were already attached to their previous au pairs, because I think the adjustment would have been more complicated for me. Of course, taking care of a baby is demanding: I work all day with very few breaks, but it’s truly worth it."
-Mathilde Duplissy.
"Hi! I’m Margaux, I’m 24 years old and I’m from Paris. In 2024, I made the decision to go to the United States, to Seattle, to live an adventure as an au pair. It was an experience that deeply marked me, but it wasn’t without challenges."
My host family was a mix of American and Asian cultures, which allowed me to discover different traditions and learn to adapt to a new way of life. I had one host kid, a little girl from 9 to 21 months, and at first, it wasn’t easy. She had never known anyone other than her parents, so the adjustment was long and complicated. The first few months were particularly difficult because my host kid had trouble accepting my presence, which created tension in the house.
On top of that, my hosts were very cautious, almost too much, which made me uncomfortable. They had trouble trusting me, and I often felt like I was being closely monitored. This lack of trust made my relationship with them quite tense throughout the year. It prevented me from having the ideal experience I had imagined
That said, this adventure allowed me to experience incredible moments. I had the opportunity to travel across the United States and discover fascinating places. More importantly, I met amazing friends with whom I formed strong bonds, and I hope to keep these friendships for life.
Even though my au pair experience wasn't perfect, it taught me a lot. I grew, learned to overcome obstacles, and adapted to unexpected situations. Today, I come out of this adventure with a more fulfilling perspective on life, full of gratitude for the lessons learned and the memories created."
- Margaux Boband
"It was in 2023 that I decided to become an au pair. At that moment, I was completely lost about my future, but the desire to become an au pair had always been in the back of my mind. I saw this experience as an opportunity to improve my English, open myself up to new cultures, and also travel at a lower cost than some other programs
Of course, the au pair experience is not for everyone. Spending your daily life with children, living with people you didn’t know beforehand, being far from your loved ones, dealing with a time difference of at least 6 hours with France, and experiencing cultural shock. It’s completely normal to have moments of low morale during the year, but I think that in those times, we need to remind ourselves of the motivations we had before embarking on this adventure.
I spent my first 7 months in Pennsylvania, where I was in a family with two different cultures: American and Hindu. In this family, I had two children, a 14-year-old boy and a 7-year-old boy. Given the age of the older one, I only took care of the younger one. We spent a lot of time together, but my little one was very dependent on screens, which made it very difficult to find activities he enjoyed. On top of this disadvantage, my hosts only gave me one weekend off per month, so I had very few days to travel. Despite having made a circle of friends, I decided to change families because after several discussions with my hosts, they were not willing to make any concessions that were important to me for my adventure. However, I look back on the first part of my year with excellent memories. I was able to discover many places in the state. I also had the opportunity to travel to various destinations such as Illinois, Tennessee, and the Dominican Republic...
So, after spending 7 months on the East Coast, I joined my new host family in the state of Washington.
Honestly, my life is completely different in this new family. I now take care of three children aged 4, 6, and 9 years old. The location and the few au pairs in the city are also a big change (and now I have a 9-hour time difference with France, compared to 6 hours before). But I don’t regret making this decision, because even though I’ve lost some advantages I had before, there are positive aspects.
However, I’ve decided not to renew my year as an au pair. Since it will end in March 2025, I feel like I’ve experienced everything I wanted to see and live during this year. I will keep excellent memories from this year because it has brought me a lot and especially made me discover a new side of myself. That’s why I will always recommend people who are hesitant about becoming an au pair to go for it. I would still advise not to rely on everything you see or hear on social media or around you, because everyone experiences a different adventure, whether it’s with their host family or otherwise... so remember that it’s unique and enjoy it!"
- Julie
My name is Coralie, I am 22 years old, and 10 months ago, I fulfilled a dream I had for a long time: to go live in the United States. This project was important to me because I wanted to discover a new culture, improve my English, and most of all, travel. Being an au pair seemed like the best way to combine all of that.
I live in Seattle, in the state of Washington, with a family that has three children. It's a very enriching experience, but also demanding. There are days when everything feels long: the children can be in a bad mood, tired, or uncooperative, and it requires a lot of patience and energy.
However, what impresses me is that these difficult moments always end up being overshadowed by the good ones. The laughter, the games, and the special moments I share with them remind me why I’m doing all of this. Being an au pair is about learning to juggle the challenges, but it’s also about feeling an immense pride in seeing everything we accomplish.
Since I arrived, my life has been a whirlwind of adventures. I’ve traveled far more than I ever imagined, with at least one trip per month, sometimes two or three. What has impressed me the most is the diversity of the United States: each state has its own identity, and it’s just incredible to discover.
This adventure would never have been as rewarding without the people I’ve met. By my second weekend, I had met other au pairs, and thanks to social media, I was also able to connect with even more people going through the same experience. These encounters have been a real driving force: they allowed me to travel with other au pairs, discover unique places, and create extraordinary memories.
Among these encounters, there is Ombeline, the creator of this blog, as well as other girls with whom I’ve shared road trips, bursts of laughter, and stories I’ll cherish for life.
Being an au pair is much more than just a program. It’s a life experience that transforms you and opens unimaginable doors. Yes, being an au pair is hard. Some days can feel long, and there are challenges to overcome. But honestly, all of that is more than compensated by the richness of the experience: the travels, the encounters, the moments of sharing, and the satisfaction of pushing yourself further.
I’m proud of making this choice and grateful for everything I’ve experienced so far. Thank you to Ombeline for allowing me to share my story here. And to anyone who’s hesitant to take the leap: go for it. It will change you, and always for the better.
-Coralie Pilet-Occelli
First family :
"I was welcomed into an American-Canadian family living in downtown Philadelphia, with two boys aged 4 and 6. I worked 20 to 25 hours per week, except for one week in Orlando where I worked 45 hours over four days.
I had an excellent relationship with my host mother, and since the whole family spoke French, I quickly felt at ease. My host mother and I had common interests, especially in skincare, which brought us closer. At the beginning, she would give me flowers every week. About every ten days, we would organize a board game night with the host parents.
The children attended a bilingual school (French-English) and followed this daily routine: I would take them to school in the morning, then pick them up from After School around 5 p.m. We would all have dinner together, and I usually finished my day between 7 p.m. and 8 p.m., depending on the evening. Sometimes, I would offer to cook for the whole family, and their balanced diet reassured me from the moment I arrived. I also enjoyed baking cookies or cakes every week or every ten days.
In terms of education, the parents were quite lenient. The mother tried to instill a bit more discipline, but the children were clearly spoiled, receiving gifts every week, which made them less appreciative.
At Christmas, we went to Orlando to visit my host father's family. It was a great opportunity for me to experience true American culture, even though I didn’t have a specific schedule that week, which was a bit unsettling. Fortunately, my hours were always respected.
My parents came to visit me for two weeks and met my host family. They got along very well, to the point that my host family invited them to France the following summer. Saying goodbye to the kids and the parents was particularly emotional.
Second family (extension 6 months) :
For my extension, I joined an American family from California, with an 8-year-old boy and two girls aged 7 and 5. We lived in Mount Pleasant, near Charleston. I worked 20 to 25 hours per week.
From the moment I arrived, I was impressed by their luxurious lifestyle: two large cars, a jeep bought for me, a boat (such a joy), and first-class travels. The house was located in a gated community with three entry points and access to a country club that included two swimming pools, golf and tennis courts, and a gym.
The children went to school every day. In the evening, we occasionally had dinner together, but the family often ordered takeout, and we ate separately. They included me in their activities (boat trips, travels, restaurants...), but sometimes I felt left out of the conversations.
With the older two, the relationship was going well, but the youngest was very difficult: disrespectful, with general behavioral issues.
General comments:
- English learned at (British) school is very different from American.
- Parenting in American families is often very lax, with little or no punishment. Children are often "kings" and get whatever they want.
- I traveled with the APIA agency for €650 (€100 discount).
- My first LCC was very good, but my second family's is unprofessional.
- I earned 3 credits online with Coursera and 3 more during a weekend class in Boston.
- I had the chance to visit several cities and places: Boston, Chicago, New York, Orlando, Miami, Key West, Puerto Rico (road trip), Grand Canyon, Monument Valley, Scottsdale, and Atlantic City.
- Tipping and taxes at checkout can be unsettling at first.
- Making real au pair friends can be difficult at times.
- It is crucial to negotiate all the clauses of the contract with the host family and to take the time before committing.
Bilan :
Being an au pair was an incredibly rewarding experience, but sometimes challenging, especially when I had a lot of free time and felt lonely, particularly with the time difference when it was nighttime in France."
- Inès Along
"To give feedback, I would say that this experience has brought me so much, both in terms of my progress in English and personal growth. I know that in just 8 months of this experience, I rediscovered myself in a way I wouldn't have been able to do after several years living in France. It's incredible how much we learn about ourselves during this cultural exchange. Of course, there are a lot of positives, but let's be honest, there are also downsides. We don't talk about them enough, but if we let the negative aspects take over, they can be devastating. Personally, I think I was lucky to have a good host family who was able to listen, despite some disagreements during our cohabitation. But that's normal; we are essentially strangers to each other at first.
I was able to travel and discover places I never thought I would, and honestly, go for it—it's a childhood dream that you’ll only get to live once. But be careful about one downside: money. You don't earn enough to travel three times a month, so you have to be mindful of your spending. In summary, this experience has been one of the best of my life, despite the terrible longing for my family and friends 9,000 kilometers away from my new home."
-Chloé Milon
"Hi! I'm Caroline, I'm 22 years old, and I've been an Au Pair in Maryland for almost 15 months!
I take care of two children, Maddie who is almost 11 years old and Ethan who is 8. I also live with my host parents, Dana and Glenn, a charming pony, and a whole menagerie of strange animals!
The Au Pair experience is not for everyone, but for me, it has been the best choice of my life. Since I’ve been here, I’ve worked on myself, on my life choices, my desires for the future, but also on how I approach my life in the present moment and stopped always overthinking everything.
I have the wonderful chance of being in an incredible family that I know will remain in my life far beyond the time of my adventure here.
Taking care of the children and having them with you all the time, even when you're not working, can be overwhelming. We often find ourselves arguing, and in those moments, I’m also fortunate that my host parents support me 300% in my decisions. We are aligned on all our opinions and can work as a team at any time, regardless of who is supposed to be responsible for the children.
We also learn to adapt to a culture and way of life that is not our own, far from our loved ones, and that might be the hardest part. I missed my little brother’s 18th birthday, important health issues with my grandmother, and the birth of my little cousin...
But if there's one thing I’ve learned here, it’s that I needed to live the life I had imagined, the one people talked about as if it was impossible because so few people succeed. I've never been happier than spending afternoons on the farm, playing board games, and trying to understand the rules of baseball before heading out on adventures to the four corners of the country whenever I get the chance (that is, when I have enough money) with my best friend.
Because yes, I met my best friend through this program, and I will never thank her enough for being, and always being, my pillar here and the person I consider most like my family.
This adventure has changed my life for the better, and I can't imagine that one day, which is approaching, I will have to leave my place and this country that has welcomed me so well."
-Caroline Raymond
"Hi, my name is Anaïs and I have been an au pair for 8 months now in a wonderful family in Denver, the beautiful capital of the amazing Colorado! The weather, the seasons, the location, the climate, the landscapes, the life, the tranquility, and its dynamics, I truly love everything about it.
I live with a single mother, a lawyer, and her 7-year-old son (who is learning French), in a beautiful house near downtown Denver (in a typical American residential neighborhood). Life is very comfortable here, and I am lucky to discover new landscapes with each season thanks to the diversity of Colorado.
I really enjoy my life as an au pair, I live every moment to the fullest, and I'm lucky to have a schedule that allows me to have quite a bit of free time.
My host mom maintains a good relationship with her ex-husband, which allows us to do activities or trips together regularly. We share great moments, and they both share custody of their child. My schedule therefore adapts from week to week based on which parent has custody of my host kid.
What I love most about my au pair life is being able to travel so easily. Especially thanks to the one who has become my best friend here: the fabulous Denver airport!
My goal was to travel and discover new places, new people with a culture and mindset completely different from what I knew.
Being an au pair changes the way we see things because, through our interaction with children and the unknown, we learn a lot about ourselves. Especially when it comes to stepping out of our comfort zones and not overreacting to certain situations. We sometimes have to face the unexpected and culture shock, but in the end, it makes us so much better. Wiser, more responsible, less reckless.
A negative point? If you end up with a bad family, or at least one that doesn't suit you, many negative aspects can arise. This isn't the case for me, and I'm truly grateful for that. If I had to reflect on one essential aspect of being an au pair, I would say it's important to always prioritize yourself and listen to your own needs.
When you're abroad, far from home, in an environment that feels unfamiliar, you have to be your first choice. You need to know what an au pair is responsible for and what they're not. To avoid your adventure turning into a nightmare and to stop accumulating negative points, communicate and explain what should be your job and what shouldn't be.
In my opinion, an au pair should share a family life with their host family, but most importantly, they should have a life of their own and be completely independent, especially in their choices. Make new connections, take the risk of exploring new things, and discover the world. Each state is like a new country waiting to be explored.
I love my life here so much, but I'm also looking forward to returning to my beautiful France. So, I’m soaking up everything I can, enjoying every moment with the goal of leaving with my mind full of memories. Memories that will stay with me forever."
-Anaïs
My au pair adventure started exactly one year ago in Atlanta. I was welcomed into a wonderful family with 3 kids (3, 5, and 7 years old). From the beginning, the parents were very helpful, generous, and understanding. As a French person, the American lifestyle is a bit different, and you have to adapt (dinner time around 5:30-6 p.m., waking up earlier, etc.). My experience has been incredible, and I developed a great relationship with both the kids and the parents. I had every weekend off, which allowed me to travel all over the East Coast of the United States.
I developed a great relationship with all three kids. I had some difficulties with the 5-year-old, who tested my limits a lot and even hit me sometimes. But I think the key to a good au pair-host parents relationship is communication. The parents always supported me because they trusted me and would "set things straight" with the kids. My first six months flew by, but after 8-9 months, I started to feel an emotional energy dip (many of my close friends finished their au pair year, I missed my family, etc.). So, after these first 12 months in Atlanta, I decided to extend with a new family in Denver, and I've been here for two weeks now.
-Lucie
My name is Fanny, I’m 27 years old, and I had the chance to experience being an au pair twice: once in 2018 and again in 2023. During these two years, I lived in the suburbs of Philadelphia with the same family, who is now like a second family to me. I took care of two girls, Helen and Catherine, who were 11 and 9 years old. I had the privilege of watching them grow and develop over time. These two years as an au pair were incredible experiences. They allowed me to discover a new culture, improve my English, and travel, all while sharing the daily life of an American family. Socially, it's very easy to make friends through numerous groups dedicated to this kind of exchange. These friendships are often very strong and intense, as they compensate for the distance from our loved ones.
I was lucky to find a family that immediately accepted me as a full member. I always felt at home, and I was even able to invite my friends and family during my stay. If I had to point out one more delicate aspect, it would be the way my hosts raised their daughters, which was very different from the upbringing I had. In discussing with other au pairs, I realized that this gap is often specific to American families, where a "child-centered" education is more common. That said, it never caused me any real problems, as the girls were sweet and respectful toward me. This experience has undoubtedly been the most rewarding of my life. My two stays were different, but I would relive them without hesitation. Today, I know that I have a second home across the Atlantic.
-Fanny Lossec 
I'm Lucie, I'm 25 years old, and it's been a month since I returned from the United States after spending a year in Pennsylvania. I was contacted to share my experience as an au pair, both the good and the less good... so here we go!
During my studies, I always had in mind to go abroad after finishing my master's because I had never really had the opportunity to travel, and I needed an experience like that before jumping into adult life with a permanent job. I had initially thought about backpacking in Asia, but I definitely didn’t have the courage to do it alone... so I looked into several options: working holiday visas, backpacking road trips, au pair programs, etc. I decided to go for the au pair program because it seemed like the best fit for me as a travel novice: guaranteed income (small, but still income), housing, food, support from a host family... It reassured me to know I wouldn’t be left to fend for myself abroad. I started my search on Aupairworld because I still wasn’t sure where to go. One thing was certain, I wanted an English-speaking country. England? Too close. Australia? Too far. Canada? Too cold. The United States? Alright, why not!
I was on the Cultural Care website completing my profile, and it only took me one evening to finish it because I couldn’t wait to see the families' profiles. My profile was online fairly quickly, and I got my first connection request 3 days later. I’ll spare you the details, but I matched with my family 2 weeks after going online. This went against all the advice I had been given, but I just knew it was them. And for once, I was right to trust my instinct!
My host family :
My family consists of 7-year-old twins, Caitlin and Jack, when I arrived, and their two parents, Mary and Travis. They live in West Chester, 45 minutes from Philadelphia. They have two dogs, doodles, Freddy and Roscoe. My host mom works 100% remotely and is a researcher in pharmaceuticals, while my host dad is a logistics director.
I lived in a typical American suburban neighborhood, and I loved my location. It was much more rural than where I live in France, but I was quite close to the airport, and most importantly, I was 2 hours from New York and 2 hours from Washington. For weekend getaways, it was perfect!
My daily life:
I worked about 38 hours a week. I worked in the morning from 7am to 9:30am, I managed the entire morning routine and dropped them off at school which was a 5-minute walk away. I had the day off until 3pm, I took advantage of it to take naps (lots of naps), go to sports, see friends, go shopping... I picked the children up from school at 3:30pm and then we organized with the parents to take them to their various activities. Then, I took care of the entire evening routine: meals, baths, homework, bedtime... and I finished my days around 8:45pm.
And once a week I worked from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. to take care of the children's laundry and bedrooms while they were at school.
The kids found it hard to stay together without squabbling, so things got out of hand, but I'd say that after 6 weeks we'd found a good little rhythm, and that's when I really started to enjoy being their au pair. The parents may have been super nice, but you spend most of your time with the kids, so if they decided to give you a hard time it could quickly become hell. In fact, I remember that at the beginning I was really in the mode “Bac +5 to be victimized by 7 year olds ???? But over time I got to know and love them, and they became my best friends. I had so much fun with them, they brightened up my year. They really are the funniest kids I've ever met. Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
The Road trips
In concrete terms, I had set out with a view to traveling with a capital V. I had made a list of destinations before leaving, which evolved over time, and above all I had a clear objective: at least one trip a month. To give you an idea of what I did, here's the list of my trips:
- New York (5 times)
- Washington (3 times)
- Miami (weekend class)
- Nashville
- New Orleans
- Chicago
- Boston
- Houston (with my host family for easter)
Road trip Utah and Arizona and Nationals parks (One week) and Las Vegas
semaine)
San Fransisco and Los Angeles (one week)
- Yellowstone by myself trip
- Road trip in Californie to San Siego from San Francisco (Travel month)
- Hawaï : Maui, Kauai and Oahu (Travel Month)
I might as well tell you that I had my hands full, and all this was only possible thanks to the money I had saved in France and the extras my family could give me. I was paid the legal minimum, i.e. $195.75 a week, but my family was very generous and over the year I must have had at least $1,500 in extras.
Came back in France :
Now for the not-so-fun part: the return to France. I had decided not to extend my au pair year because I was afraid of going too far in the experience and almost getting disgusted with it. I'd reached my goals of traveling and improving my English, so I decided to return to France after a year.
I've been back home for a month now, and it's not been a happy one - saying goodbye to my family was heartbreaking. I've rarely been so sad in my life, and to this day I still miss my life in the US. I'd found a permanent job for my return, which I quit after 4 days because I didn't feel right in my head. I hadn't even seen my grandmother and I was already in a new job, thinking it would help me move on more quickly...
The hardest thing for me to deal with was realizing that nothing had changed. Over the course of a year, I'd changed a lot and had to readapt to an environment that had remained the same. So, yes, it's nice to see everyone again, but the second I landed in France, all I wanted to do was leave again. I feel like everything I built up in the States has stayed there... that no one really understands what I've been through. I know that I can't run away from France forever, and that I need to find a job that I'm happy with, so that I can move on
reappreciate my life in France, but this transition period is very complicated to manage because I didn't expect to be confronted with such a lack of children.
Fortunately, I still have a lot of contact with my host family, whom I obviously plan to see again as soon as I have a clearer picture.
One thing's for sure, this year has been the most life-changing experience of my entire life, and I'd recommend it 1000% to anyone wanting to embark on the au pair adventure. If I could give some advice to future au pairs: take the time to list your criteria, set yourself goals, know why you're going, don't have too many expectations (it could save you from disappointment), don't get carried away, enjoy every moment because a year goes by very quickly.
Thank you so much for reading, and if you have any questions or if, like me, you're depressed about your return to France don't hesitate to contact me on insta: luciepch1! Love and kisses.
“I can't say anything about my former and current family, they wish to remain anonymous. I can describe my personal and professional experience on my first adventure as well as the continuity in this year. It was a surprising adventure. It was one of my dreams to come and learn American culture and English.
Taking stock today, I can describe the changes in over 1 year as monumental and unimaginable. Personally, I'm amazed. Humility and gratitude are words I've acquired. Surpassing myself, whether physically or mentally, is an intense daily task. It has enabled me to get to know myself better, to develop and to have confidence in myself. I love the richness of this adventure, which is why I've continued for a second year. I don't like routine, so I chose a second family. Another way of life that's just as interesting to live. I wanted to improve my English. I won't make a career out of this adventure. I see this adventure as a stepping stone to my future career.
With both families, communication was the key to every situation. Learning about another culture helped me understand that everyone has a different perception and interpretation of every situation. Cultural sharing enriched my mind with new emotions and unique memories. Adaptation, acceptance and non-judgment of others are essential skills I've learned.
Professionally, I've been able to discover my identity, which has had the greatest impact. I was able to discover another vision of the world of work.
I'd describe this adventure as surprisingly full of twists and turns. I didn't expect to make so many changes. Some encounters and events may be hidden messages. Each destination completes my enrichment. I recommend this adventure to everyone. Opening my mind is the greatest gift I've gained. Until you live the experience, it's impossible to feel it. Taking action by stepping out of my comfort zone and making mistakes has allowed me to evolve. Sincerity lies in our actions. Finally, if I had to describe the adventure in one last word, it would be: ADVENTURE. 
"
(Ps: never forget to listen to your instincts ;))
-Isabelle
Au Pairs’ Testimonials